Grad school
I'm so back and forth on this issue of education vs. performance. As far as grad school goes, the only real way to get into teaching high school is to get a California teaching credential, since Trevor and I want to move back here after grad school. If we waited a couple years, I suppose it might be worth it to get a credential in the state we go to grad school (assuming we do go out of state). But I do want a masters, so I would be doing both. Plus what if my observation hours don't "transfer" because I did them in California instead of Colorado or Indiana or wherever, or because it was too long between when I did them (now) and when I apply for a credential program? And then when we did come back to California, I would have to take the CBEST and CSET anyway. At least I think I would. I could always teach in a private school with a masters, but I dunno. With a credential program you get the actual teaching experience.

I'm afraid that if I don't get a masters in voice, my vocal training and performance experience will be wasted in a way. I'm afraid that I will stop singing if I become a teacher. I won't have time to take lessons or sing in a choir or do community theatre or opera. It's not that I want to be a professional performer who is always getting up and leaving her family to go travel around the world. I've worked too hard on my relationship with Trevor and I want a family too much to do that. I just don't know how the timing would work out. I guess the best thing to do would be to apply to out-of-state grad schools for a masters and then see where we go after that. It's not hard to get a credential––it only takes a year, so I could definitely manage to do it if we moved back to California. I think the CBEST and CSET scores are valid for 5 years, so if I take them next year I can still use them when we come back after grad school.

The other question is what to get a masters in. Music ed is the obvious choice if I want to be a teacher eventually. Conducting is also right up there for teaching purposes, but I don't think I'm good enough at conducting to get into grad school for it, or at least I won't be by the time I have to apply/audition. I really like the idea of musicology, and I find music history really interesting, but I could see myself getting bored and itching to actually perform instead of just research. And of course voice... I love to sing and performing is a lot of fun, and I feel like I can actually compete for spots in schools as well as roles. But I don't know if those things are worth spending more hours in a practice room, learning IPA till I want to die, and being afraid every day that I'm going to wake up sick.

I wish I could apply to each school in multiple areas and see where I get accepted and as what. I think at U Colorado-Boulder, I could apply for a dual masters, so maybe I could apply as music ed and voice. I guess I could always drop one if I decide I like one a lot better. I wonder if they have that option at Indiana or NYU. Or like, the option to do a masters and a credential at USC. If I went to SJSU, that would be easy––I would just get a credential. I think I will also probably apply to San Francisco Conservatory, because I think Trevor is going to check out Stanford and Berkeley, and I don't want to be limited to SJSU if he ends up going either of those places. So I guess a lot of it depends on where he gets in too.

My plan at this point is to make a demo CD over the summer (with the help of the fabulous Ian Perry) and apply to at least some schools as voice. I have to send screening materials for those, and if they are due before the applications for other areas (like music ed), I can maybe apply in those areas instead if I don't get invited for a live audition.

Oi. I hate having to know right now what I want to do for the rest of my life.